neil cummings

Lapdogs: script

01 May 2009

Lapdogs was installed as part of the exhibition Lapdogs of the Bourgeoisie at the Arnolfini in Bristol, and previously at the Townhouse Gallery in Cairo.

Lapdogs storyboard

Here's the script

Lapdogs of the Bourgeoisie: Trailer 4min (approx)

Artist: Abbas  Rahman

Mentor 1: Artist – Lara Baladi
Mentor 2: Art Critic – Tirdad Zolghadr
Mentor 3: Curator – Nav Haq

Theme music: - bold, strident
Off-screen: - noise and shouts of a street scene

Scene 1: Exterior

Exterior: Typical Cairo street café – men drink coffee and smoke shisha
Fade from black to ABBAS - a café waiter

 

VOICE OVER:

Meet Abbas Abd Allah, a 31 year old waiter from the town of Embabah

He left school at 12 and is now self employed

He’s about to enter a completely different world

Abbas to camera

ABBAS:

I love working in this cafe, it’s just what I do, you know

My Father used to work here too

You know, people come to the cafe tired and hungry

I bring then coffee or tea, and then they are revived, completely different
You know, transformed

Um, a bit like what you’re going to be doing with me

Lapdogs shoot

Scene 2: Interior

Interior: Cairo Art Gallery: Trendy glamour, power
Abbas walking (smartly dressed) with MENTOR1: LARA stopping, looking at and discussing artworks.

 

VOICE OVER:

For the next month, Abbas is aiming to become an international artist
And infiltrate first the Cairo, and then the International Art Scene
 

 

Scene 3: Interior

Interior: Abbas’s studio, easel, table chair and studio detritus.
Abbas - scruffy, at easel drawing, looking, painting

 

VOICE OVER:

He will have to learn how to make art

Abbas at easel

ABBAS:

I’m starting to realize, um, it’s starting to feel right!

 

Scene 4: Interior

 

Interior: Abbas’s studio, paintings, drawings and art books in shot.
Abbas-scruffy, with work in ‘crit’ situation with
MENTOR 3: NAV

 

VOICE OVER:

And, he’ll have to learn how to talk about his art.

ABBAS:

Do you like this?
Its influenced by Tracy Emin
I’m trying to make it more,…………..’socially engaged’

MENTOR 3: Nav:

Enumerating with his fingers

Never ask if curators ‘like’ the work
Don’t say it's influenced by another artist
And,………it’s not socially engaged

Lapdogs barber scene

Scene 5: Exterior/interior

Interior: The Barbers; Barber and his shop.
Abbas arrives – scruffy, with Mentor 1: Lara to get a more trendy shave and hair-cut.

 

VOICE OVER:

He’ll have to look the part, and promote himself

MENTOR 1: artist Lara

It looks really, really good
But we must do something about your hair
It doesn’t lend you enough authority

 

Scene 6: Interior

 

Interior: Exhibition/studio setting
Critic MENTOR 2: TIRDAD looking at an example of Abbas’s work.

 

VOICE OVER:

And take criticism on the chin

MENTOR 2: Tirdad

And that’s it really
Although you have a confident sense of colour, there is really no market for this
You might as well take it down, and set it on fire.

You’d better start again

 

Scene 7: Exterior/Interior

 

Night-time travel dissolve to ‘hip’ Cairo gallery
Interior: a gallery exhibition Private View- glamour, drink and stylish crowd. Abbas - very smart. Team of three ‘top’ critics (the judges) looking at Abbas’s ‘work’

 

VOICE OVER:

If he gets through all that

He’ll have to exhibit in an exhibition alongside four other established artists

At a hip Cairo Gallery,

And his work will be assessed and judged, by top art critics.

Interior: Private view three critics – close-up of conversation

 

JUDGE/CRITIC 1:

And so, what was you intention with that?

 

Scene 8: Exterior

 

Cut to Abbas back at work in the street cafe

VOICE OVER:

Will they spot him as a fake?

Aiding and abetting the wannabe Picasso, are three mentors from the international artworld

Scene 9: Interior

Whip-pan to locations of power-dressed Mentors in their professional location
Mentor 1: Lara in studio

 

VOICE OVER:

Artist Lara Baladi has an international reputation

She’s Lebanese and lives in Cairo

 

Scene 10: Interior

 

Office: Mentor 2: Nav power-dressed, on the phone

 

 

VOICE OVER:

Nav Haq the rising star of the curatorial scene,

that everyone dreams of working with.

Scene 11: Interior

Chic office: Mentor 3: Tirdad power-dressed, at desk with laptop

 

VOICE OVER:

Curator and renowned critic Tirdad Zolghadr writes for Frieze

The biggest international art magazine

 

Scene 12: Interior

Office/studio: Mentor 3 :Nav

 

MENTOR 3: Nav:

I really think this is an enormous challenge

We shouldn’t underestimate how difficult this is going to be

Scene 13: Exterior

Exterior: Abbas in street café

 

VOICE OVER:

Will they succeed?

ABBAS:

I don’t ever do anything to fail
And I don’t want to let myself,………. or my family down.

Roll Lapdog end-credits

 

 


Peruse a publication of the project published by Sternberg Press, a Hacked Manifesto, see the Lapdogs project page or my lesson in Political Economy.

30.04961, 31.238

Townhouse Gallery
3 Hussein Basha Al Meamari
Qasr El Nil
Cairo
Cairo Governorate
Egypt

Submitted by neil on 10 March, 2020 - 19:10